So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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