can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
