My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
