if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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