DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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