I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost the right to judge tonight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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