The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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