Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
