you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
