would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
