No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
