please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
