Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
