Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
