so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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