Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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