Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
