at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
