Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize