Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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