I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
