There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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