He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
