I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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