Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
