Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
