the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
