My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
