I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
