too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
