I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
