are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
