Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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