I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
