Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
