David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
