he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
