just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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