My friends, they love my intelligence
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
