It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
