Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
