She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
