I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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