I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
