You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
this is an emotional support booty call
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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