i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
