so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
