I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
