More tranny stories later!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize