Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My life is pants optional.
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