Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
