I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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