Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
