I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
