would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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