i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
