I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
