I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
