your parents love me but you hate me
with your own penis?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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