she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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